How many times have you felt very stressed and turned to friends for empathy and all you received was a “Don’t worry about it!”. It is very easy to say “Don’t worry about it!” but unfortunately, it is not as easy to live by as Anxiety can feel unmanageable if left unattended. The main problem with that statement is that you are already worried & by minimizing it we may now feel ashamed. It is what we call an ‘Empathy Miss’. Someone trying to make you feel better but in turn, really makes you feel embarrassed about your feelings.
Although there is a major element of internal work to do, there is something to be said about surrounding yourself with other positive people & places. Also, the next place to check if you feel constantly worried, check that you are doing enough ‘Self Care’ (eating well, exercising, reading, therapy, etc). Otherwise, Negative thoughts left to their own device will ultimately take over.
So, how does one NOT worry about “it”? Sometimes, even when we recognize we are powerless over what we are worrying about & that our worrying doesn’t help, it might not make us feel any better. Might actually make us feel worse because we know we are worrying for no reason & thus wasting precious time.
First off, let’s take a breath while we digest this information. Breathing is a very major aspect of managing anxiety. Not Lamaze in & out quick breaths but deep diapragmpathetic breaths into the belly that provides our body with clean air & helps to ground us. Another major piece of managing anxiety is by affirming yourself in the current moment with positive self-talk. Positive self-talk is not meant to seduce or lie to yourself but to validate & provide yourself with empathy and understanding, contrary to your friend who provided “Don’t worry about it!”. Some examples of positive self-talk are as follows:
1) “I am not in danger” 2) “I will not repetitively examine details over & over” 3) “I will work in a way that is good enough”, etc.
Lastly, We can us stopping through the art of distraction! Catching yourself in the act of worrying & trying to focus your thoughts elsewhere.
If you or someone you know is a “worry wart” and needs some coping skills to manage the anxiety, call Specialized Therapy Associates today at 1-201-488-6678 and we would be happy to help!
